She

She is raw

The unpolished sheen of a newfound gem

Discovered but not refined

Not polished but it’s natural state

Not perfected

But still beautiful

She is powerful

The explosive energy of a lightning strike

Free and limitless, not contained

Not delicate but formidable

Not elegant

But still beautiful

She is expressive

Emotions radiate like the sun in the sky

Warm and observable, not hidden away

Not contained but shared

Not controlled

But still beautiful

She is compassionate

A tender touch to the broken, the hurt

Genuine and gentle, not shy or meek

Not always needed, sometimes clumsy

Not meticulous

But still beautiful

She is precise

The carefully planned execution of technique

Careful and thoughtful, not reckless

Not always perfect but considered

Not exact

But still beautiful

She is determined

Always aiming for the finish line

Perseverance and passion, not weak

Not always confident, but never relenting

Not always the winner

But still beautiful

She loves

Wholeheartedly, unashamedly

Love capable of superhuman feats

Of gratitude, kindness, commitment,

Not always perfect but always genuine

And still beautiful

She is herself

Unapologetic, true in every way

Scarred, but healing

Flawed and imperfect

Capable of love

And still beautiful.

Some thoughts behind this poem:

It’s so easy to compare yourself to other people and feel you fall short in every way, and it’s so easy to take someone’s flippant comment to heart, or too seriously.

The one the sparked this poem was “saxophone isn’t a very feminine or girly instrument, is it?!” – which wasn’t meant in a bad way, but I was so surprised. Isn’t it? I’d never thought about it. Suddenly I was questioning so many things – my sport, judo, isn’t girly either, but for my instrument to make me “unfeminine”? Was I falling short as a woman?

And of course that spiralled – Maybe I’m just falling short generally.

So I had to step back and look at the bigger picture. And I challenged myself to look at some qualities I like about myself, and write about them.

Some of them are still not “girly”. I’m not dainty, I’m not elegant, I’m not delicate. I don’t always wear dresses. I do judo. I can run for 3km – and that’s okay because we all have to start somewhere. I’m a writer. I like to draw. I love the outdoors. I am learning to surf. I have a secret dream of being a dancer. And yes, I play the “ungirly” saxophone. Sometimes I am shy but when I’m known, I can be a ball of energy – I laugh loudly, I cry hard, I hurt deeply – and I love deeply too. I love people with every inch of my being. I go out of my way to be everything I can be for a person. Whether that’s family, friends, a partner... my love isn’t always bright and happy but it’s big and deep and raw. And I have found that the genuine people in my life have loved me back in the same way - in a way that is big, raw, powerful, warm, and constant.

So whatever your insecurities, when they’re starting to overwhelm you – just take a step back and find the beauty in your qualities. You have so many, and they don’t have to be labelled, or identifiable, or perfect – they are just you. And remember that the people in your life love you for who you are too.